How to Escape From an Incinerator

What You Need:
An incinerator (with a glass window)
A metal rod
A piece of thread
What You Do:
1. Fall asleep in a pile of scrap metal. Author’s note:
if you have trouble falling asleep in the scrap heap,
we recommend a little Jack Daniels in a snifter.
Keep drinking until you pass out.
2. Wake up to discover yourself in an incinerator.
3. Grab a metal rod from the scrap metal in the
incinerator.
4. Smash the incinerator’s window with the rod.
5. Use the rod to push the incinerator’s lever to OFF.
6. Breathe a sigh of relief.
7. Pull a long piece of thread off your shirt.
8. Tie the thread in a loop.
9. Hang the thread on the end of the rod.
10. Fish with the rod and thread until you snag the
incinerator latch.
11. Unlatch the incinerator door and open the door.
12. Escape the incinerator and curse your damn
narcolepsy/drinking problem.
Why It Works
Definitely do not try this one at home. :)